Space Yourabusedbitch Lv Those From South Your Abused Bitch Girl Looks Like a Bitch

December 28th, 2009 by admin

Facebook biches come in all shapes and sizes, lets just take the time to admire the cans on that small one for a minute. I don’t need to really point her out because she already has two man made beauties pointing right at you. A lot better than the sorry pre-harvest oranges on the right.

Holding a glass of  Bi-Lo wine doesn’t make you sophisticated.

Facebook is full of  post college trash. After majoring in drinking for 4 years at “state university” real life is kind of a drag. Facebook is a good way to show your friends how high class you’ve become by taking a shit load of pictures of yourself in front of European cathedrals or tall New York skyscrapers. Maybe everyone you knew back in the day will forget how you like to sleep around with your friends’ boyfriends. She’s well traveled, maybe she stopped using blow jobs as a hand shake.

When facebook girls aren’t covering up their whorish tendency with black dresses and making the guy they are fucking this week dress up in a sweater vest then goop product in his hair so he can look like he walked off the cast of Friends. They are letting the Mr. Hyde side of themselves come out to play. Ignorant as to why they didn’t get that job after a quick background check, a long night of bar hopping and waking up in the back seat of her Honda Accord with a foreign object stuck in a naughty place is normal.

Just a side note, this is a picture is probably of a girl from myspace not facebook. Myspace is a great source for bitches but that’s an already known fact. Myspace is a very sad place that makes normal people feel bad inside.

December 8th, 2009 by Spencer

I have a tattoo of ’s Android Operating System logo on my wrist.

Of course, when we encounter such an edgy, intellectual lady on this site we like to ask the obvious question everyone’s wondering:  Does she give good head?

She knows how to make your windows boot quick, but when it comes to interfacing with your underpant champion, chances are she will slobber all over your junk like an old lady sucking on badly fitting dentures.

Why?  Because that’s the problem when you prefer machines to people.  Flowchart diagrams and TPS reports are a piece of cake but physical activities are awkward and clumsy.  It’s the same reason nobody wants a brainiac on their sports team.  Take Stephen Hawking for example – widely regarded as one of the most brilliant scientific minds alive but can he beat me at basketball?  No.  …To be fair, Professor Hawking – who has motor neurone disease, is so physically disabled he can’t wipe his own ass (or at least that’s what he’s been telling his sexy nurses for the last 25 years).  But if you spoke like Speak and Spell and your only physical contact with the opposite sex was having dribbled, mashed banana wiped from your chin every day you’d probably want to seize every intimate moment you could too.

The point is, the cleverer you are, the less physically gifted you are.  So if this hacker chick did drop to her knees and attempt to do the deed you should definitely expect frustration along the way…  For example, just as you’re finally getting somewhere she’d keep stopping to ask “Am I doing it right?”

In that situation, you need to speak the girl’s own hacker lingo to keep her focussed on the task while you complete your brute force attack on her tonsils.  Explain to her that you are the task manager and you have administrator access to her mouth.  Then, when the time is right, upload your genetic blueprint into her face.

December 5th, 2009 by admin

If she’s not too busy cutting out Hot Topic coupons or wishing the Matrix was real, she’s spending her time judging anyone that doesn’t dress just like her and then she judges whoever is dressed just like her. Blue hair’s boyfriend of the week would kick your ass if you try to defend yourself from her bullshit, so better to keep you’re insults to yourself unless you want his ridiculously overpriced boot up your ass. It wouldn’t matter anyway, just start talking about how great the movie The Crow was and he’ll want to sword fight dicks in no time.

Depression + Anger = Pay too much for stupid looking clothes.

Never understood the need to look so different when you’re angry at your parents for “screwing” your life up. We all get it! Daddy wouldn’t buy you that BMW like all the other girls got in high school so you feel the need to dye your hair, get a ton of jewelry inserted into interesting areas and laugh at death scenes in emotional movies. Why not do what African Americans do and just give up on life. Get yourself a “gat”, get on welfare, and sell drugs to upper middle class white kids in the local high schools. It’s better than living in your parents basement. Goths like this girl just decided one day the best thing they could do is be as pale as possible and wear clothes that would prevent you from getting a job almost anywhere. African Americans are so successful at what they do even dumb ass rednecks that hate black people listen to rap. You don’t hear Billy-Bob driving his Toyota truck listening to The Cure carrying a black lunch box. Anytime you describe something as “industrial” it’s going to suck.

I’m sure if you were on a date or whatever you’d like to call it with this girl the first measuring stick of self worth she’d use would be how many tats and piercings she had. Although it’s very interesting to see the creative places that her and every other goth girl has decided to place them, the “individuality” all goth people feel it’s important to express by listening to the same music, dressing the same way as each other, and adopting the same personalities, gets old fast. She’ll try so hard to be deep and interesting but if you spent a day with her you’d be bored out of your mind. After waking up at the break of 3pm smelling like an ash tray and Ted Kennedy’s breathe. You’d find yourself in a debate of why religion is soooo stupid and then watch her text one of her 2 girlfriends and 40 to 500 other guys until one of Vampire shows comes on. Then when the Sun goes down you’ll end up at a bar where everything is sticky and there are posters all over the walls of local death metal bands with names like Fetus Wound or Blood Infection. She’ll bring you over to her strange group of socially backward friends that will do nothing but complain about why people are religious even though half of them believe in witchcraft, and you’ll be rejected by a group of people that spend a good chunk of their time complaining that they aren’t accept by normal people. Then after that social awkwardness you can enjoy ending the evening or early morning with her lying about how she’s a suicide girl about  the sametime she takes the mystery drugs  some guy with the very original handle of Morpheus gives her.

You have to meet an impossible criteria based on strange set of bullshit beliefs to just to hang out with her. Even though she lathers on more makeup than a 12 year old on Stickam to look as pale as she does. If you have skin that’s one shade darker than milk how dare you stand in her majesty’s presence. You need to like all the crappy bands she likes and basically not get upset when she goes out and gets so wasted and starts letting middle aged guys feel her up. How dare you not accept her for who she is!